Guess where my keys ended up?

Cory just came up to me and handed me my car keys.

They were wet.

It had been raining outside so I thought thats what it was from but he hadn't been outside with my keys. So I asked him why they were wet.

He said, "Do you need these?"  

I said,"Yes probably, where were they?"

"In the garbage disposal."



Then I looked at them




 







So, the moral of the story is to pay attention to where you put your car keys.  Or else four of your keys will bend when your husband turns the garbage disposal on.

I also put the salt and pepper in the fridge, thank you very much.

Busted Zipper

My brother Preston got home from his mission July 2009, it was a happy time! His mission was in the Southern states so he ate lots of fried foods and to put it nicely he gained like 40lbs it was quite alarming to see him when he got home since he had always been so scrawny!

Anyways the weight pretty much started started falling off within a few months after he'd gotten home. Which was kind of dumb because we had all bought him clothes to fit his new body. But the clothes got too big with in a few weeks!

So one day Preston was talking with me and my mom and all of the sudden he took off his shorts without unbuttoning or unzipping them. It was a little alarming to see him standing there in his underwear.. but not really because it's Preston. Then he says, 'Hey guys I wanna show you something, I can jump into my shorts."

He then holds his shorts out at arms length and jumps into the air and tries to jump into them (keep in mind they're all buttoned and zipped) and completely destroys his zipper! So my mom had to sew the zipper up. It was funny.

(Fresh off the plane!)

(Present Preston.. he looks so good!)

Funny text message

I have to *blog* this down so I don't forget about it.

The other day I was texting this person, I was going to bed so it was time for the goodnight messages, you know how that goes.

Me- Okay well I will let you go!

Person I was texting (PIWT)- Alright, have a god night

**Huh? Ba hahaha**

PIWT- By god I mean good, but god be with you too


Hahahahahahahahahahah I might have laughed so hard. Am I the only one who thinks that is hilarious? Oh well. Please be my best friend.


MOVING ON..

I recently discovered Tumblr blogs. This person I know has one and he puts the funniest jokes on it. Here is a link to his tumblr. Arthur's Tumblr. Kind of creepy because I don't know him all that well, but we went to In & Out one time with Kirsten (cousin), actually the only time I have ever been there! He is just a great human being and really good friends with my cousin  Jan.

He also has lots of pictures of women, so if that makes you feel inadequate and uncomfortable then you'll just have to get past that.  Haha just kidding. So everything I am copying is from Arthur's Tumblr. I do not claim it, this is not plagiarism people.


A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, “What’ll it be?” The duck doesn’t say anything because its a duck.

Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn’t. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

You know what? Love isn't  blind. It's retarded.

A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says “Give me some Chap stick, put it on my bill!” But the cash register attendee doesn’t speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he’d need Chap stick anyway, since he has no lips.

Here is a picture:

Just because every blog should have a picture. And I wish I could wear hats every single day.

I touched a bum

Last Friday night I went to a concert at a Frat house. Only they are an LDS fraternity so they get suuuper offended when you call them "frat" boys. Because they are supposedly better than the other fraternities. But really who cares, this blog is about my a story I have to share

So the concert was SO AWESOME. I loved all three bands there.

First The Neighbors
Second j.wride
Third The Vibrant Sound

I'm not lying when I say I loved every song played!! It was an incredible concert and I wish it would have been longer.

 The Vibrant Sound, they play very dancy tunes so I was dancing around all crazily with friends, and everyone around was was doing the same.

I was waving my arms in some crazy motion in front of me when all of the sudden my hand ended up in this boys back pocket

MY HAND WENT STRAIGHT INTO HIS BACK POCKET

Except I wasn't happy like her I was more like Queen Elizabeth.

Good thing he didn't notice, right? I don't even know what I would have done if he would have known what took place. I actually didn't even realize the horror of it until after I removed my hand. Then I started laughing. Then I kept on dancing.

You guys

So in this part of the blogging world we don't judge each other aiiight??

I haven't washed my hair for four days. FOUR DAYS. I just don't even have time to practice good hygiene. Good thing I have my cornstarch. It never fails me.

I'm excited for conference.

Pictures from my weekend home.

(Good friend Jason is home from Spain!)

(Mother & I got caught in a freak rainstorm!! Hair reverted back to the gel stage)

(Andy Armadillo, so creepy yet so cute)

(This is a really awkward picture. And it isn't even that funny)

I was just looking up Greg Olsen pictures on google. I LOVE his work and I found this:

WHAT. Is this for real? Kind of funny. Kind of disrespectful. I'm sure he loves dino's too. Hahaha I don't even know what to think about this.

These are a few of my fav. Greg Olsen pictures

Okay okay okay so I love a lot of his artwork, one day I will own all of it!! He is just so talented.

Valentines Day

Okay I love love, and I love so many people and I have so much love in my life but I don't like Valentines day! I think love should be celebrated everyday! Plus it makes me jiggle. You know what I mean.

Anyways enough of that. So Jenny, my brother's fiancee, and her roommates had a Valentines Day party and it was so fun! It even included a kissing booth :)

(He dressed up as cupid!)

(Shorts and wings, that is all folks)

(Twas crowded!)

(His voice was like chocolate running down my body)

(Kissin booth!!)

(okay!)

In other news, I need to get out of my town. And I need to transfer schools. It's just not working for me!!

Hope you all had a lovely valentines day!

Barnes&Noble

Quick story:

My mom and I went shopping the day after Black Friday.. so we went shopping on Saturday. Anyways we parked in front of Barnes&Noble because I LOVE walking through that store. They have the cutest journals!

So before we start our shopping we had to use the restroom, when do I not need to use the restroom? We walked through the children's section and get to the bathroom and this lady is standing there waiting in line... even though the door to the handicap stall is open, and so is the one to her left,I don't think she noticed.. But whatever I wasn't going to say anything even though my bladder was about to empty all over the tile. This lady finally looked to her left and realized," Oh this stall is open!" EVEN THOUGH THE HANDICAP STALL WAS OPEN THE WHOLE TIME. Is it called a handicap stall? I don't like the word handicap.

Anyways my mom could sense my urgency so she let me go ahead of her in line, how nice. My mom is so nice. And I start walking towards the back handicap stall and when I am about to walk in this lady emerges!! Bare legs, pants around her ankles, hand pulling down her shirt in the front so I don't see anything that'd give me nightmares (too late!), she was definitely waddling, we make eye contact and she shuts the door.

Oh. My. Whatjusthappened.

My mom and I look at each other and start silently laughing, like when you laugh so hard no sound comes out. I had to leave that bathroom or else I would have lost it. I walked around Barnes&Noble laughing to myself, eyes watering, bladder about to explode. So uncomfortable. My mom finds me and I start explaining to her why I had to leave, and I start laughing and my mom says, "Shh!! She is right behind you.! She was behind me and heard everything I said!! How embarrassing!! The only thing more embarrassing than that would have been to walk around a Barnes & Noble bathroom with my pants down. Oh wait she did that so I don't feel as bad.

The rest of the trip was great. We got fudge and cinnamon glazed almonds aka my crack. Then we listened to the cutest old people play Christmas songs on their instruments! This little old man was playing a bass (not a guitar, the string instrument foolz)  that was about as big as he :) Overall an excellent, fun day!

(Oh Idaho how lovely ye are with your storms and icy roads)

(Joy to the World, Joy Cooper has come, let earth receive her bling- haha I just made that up as I typed it)

Today. . .

K guys, so today I was getting ready for the day (at like 2pm, don't judge) and my roommate Samantha Noel comes into my room, doubled over in pain... from laughing so hard!!! She says, "Hayley you have to come here!! But you have to be quiet, okay?" So I got REALLY excited at what I was about to behold. So we go in her room and we peek out the window and this is what we see.

Sammie Sue blogged about this earlier today so I will repost what she wrote:

"I looked out the window and what did I see? Not popcorn popping on the apricot tree that's for sure. Today I came home and was sitting in my room about to make some phone calls and I sprayed my strawberry patch room spray but it was a little strong so I went to open the window and do you want to know what my eyes beheld? I wouldn't if I were you but really this story has to be told. I just opened my blinds for some fresh air and I had to witness this.. None other then a.. hairy man.. in.... a speedo.... just ya know trying to catch some rays... woof. I was dying.. Luckily i didnt open the window, i just had time to open the blinds and my eyes were burning. So i went and got my roommate Hayley and we lost it. She went and got her camera because this HAD to be documented. Bahahah luckily the man had a t shirt covering his face so A. i wont have to see him around and either lose my composure of have visions of him half naked. and B. So obviously he wouldnt get too sunburned on his face. sooo all i have to say is.. A picture is worth a thousand words.."

It's me, Hayley, again. This boy lives below us I'm pretty sure, and I think he is colorful, but whatev. I am so glad he didn't take that shirt off his face or I would have blushed every time I saw him get into his white Ford Escort.. I mean... yep.

In other news, today Sam and I rode our bikes to wal-mart because we wanted to,and we almost died about four times because we are sometimes incapable of getting back on our bikes after we've stopped. Oh,  and we wanted to purchase this little strip of magic.

The commercials made this look like such a spectacular piece of magic, but it was like, $5.99 so we said, "Forget it.  Let's get ice cream instead."  I know this cancels out the calories burned from actually riding the bike, but we decided that didn't matter. So we sat on the concrete, backs resting on wal-mart, feeling like 7th graders that hangout under the bleachers and smoke ciggy's. Except we were by the bike rack.

After finishing our ice cream we rode our bikes over to Adam's Park and layed on the grass, looking at the clouds and soaking in life. It was excellent!!

Then I went to work and it was slow so I came home early. Now I am blogging and going to a Block partay!!!!! I am loving this summer because of three things that describe my lifestyle as of this moment:

I can do whatever I want, I'm not tied down by anything or anyone (except work)!!

I am pretty  much on my own

I have the coolest roommates ever in the whole galaxy and universe

I miss Dallin Fisher more than I can say, I LOVE HIM! I miss Kirsten too, but I get to see her in 5 weeks in NEW YOOOOOOORK

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,

Theres nothing you can’t do,

Now you’re in New York,

these streets will make you feel brand new,

Big lights will inspire you,

lets hear it for New York, New York, New York

Haha, jk. But that song is great.

Have a great.

Things that have Happened

Alright just a few things I wanted to blog about my people.

I got one of the best surprises of my LIFE last week, seriously.  I found out Jake Stewart was coming home for an entire week!!

Too bad I didn't know soon enough to get work off! I was still able to come home for a couple days and see him, and it was blissful, what a great kid.

So I worked until 1 on Wednesday and went home and hung around with my family for a few hours, then I went over to Jakes, and watched the last bit of the American Idol finale ( congrats Lee), speaking of AI I did not even watch it this season. It just wasnt as cool as it usually is.

(happy because David Archuleta was on AI, what a cutie!)

I left Jake's and drove up to Rexburg to have a sleepover with JOY! She is such a joy in my life, I do not know what I'd do without that ray of sunshine. I watched her play flag football and she dominated the entire world! They won 16-9? Or something like that. Anyway it was fun to watch even though it started raining.

(Dan: the coach, Joy: player, Me: biggest fan)

(Pro)

The next day I went to Joy's classes with her, just to see what things were like up at BYU-I. Overall it was really fun! I like the campus, except that it is on a hill, that  made me sweat.

It would catch me way offguard when we would be talking about depression in her women's health class and the professor started talking about Heavenly Father. At first I was like, "WHOA WHAT!?" But then I got used to it until her Child development class. The professor walks in and says, "Alright what is our opening song?" Haha it caught me SO off guard. But I do think it is really cool. 

(Oh just super excited to go to class)

 I've heard that there aren't any cute boys up in Rexburg. Ladies, open your eyes because I saw quite a few!

(No men like this though, I just really enjoy this picture)

After Joy's classes were over I went back to Idaho Falls and took a nap for like, ten minutes.  Then Brock, Jake, and Court came over and we made posters for some of our friends graduating that night. I can't even believe how long it took to make posters. Sheesh. I even colored with a crayon because my marker ran out of ink. I haven't done that for a while, it was pretty exciting.

(Made my Court)

Graduation was long and boring, and super super hot.  But it was fun to see most of my friends! Bracken was a valedictorian so he spoke at graduation and he was really funny! At one point in his speech he said something like, "Some of my favorite memories from High School include Emily Austin pushing me up against the locker and kissing me.. oh wait that was a dream." He said that at GRADUATION in from of so many people! Hahaha it was so funny.

After graduation everyone came to my house and we had a blast! We played "What if" like we do every time we are together, we made funfetti cookies, the usual. It was so fun to catch up with everyone and see people I haven't seen in FOREVER!

(What a cutie)

(I worked at jamba with Parker and Chelsie; and Danielle the girl next to me is in my home ward! Love them!)

(This picture brings so much joy to my soul, two of my best friends!)

(Alli and I. Oprah hugging. I miss her everyday)

(Kimberlee, I miss her crazy stories!)

Some of  you may have seen my facebook status and I wanted to expound a bit. The other day my mother said, "You known if we lived in the pioneer days Jill would be crippled, Logan would be blind, Preston would be dead, Hayley would be ugly, and Emily would be the only normal one." They used it as the inspiration thought in RS. HAHA. It is so true though. Jill was born with a clubbed foot, Logan's eyes never fully developed or something like that, Preston has a titanium heart valve and a pacemaker, I used to have the most fangled teeth ever. And Emily is just normal. Wow I am super grateful I was born in this day and age!

(So thanks to things like surgery, artifical hear valves, contacts, mascara and braces, we are all halfway normal!)

One  last thought.
I called my mom yesterday because I had a question about chicken. So I asked, "Hey mom when I broil chicken do I have to turn it over?" A legitimate question, for I had never broiled chicken. Then she just starts laughing and says, "That is the dumbest question anyone has ever asked me." and I said, "No I really don't know, don't laugh at me." So then she says, "When you boil chicken you just put it in the water and let it boil." Then I started laughing way hard because I said 'broil' not 'boil' so then we both laughed for longer than necessary.  Hahaha wow that is probably the dumbest story ever but it's okay I know you enjoyed it. Oh, and I broiled my chicken and you do turn it over. It was so good!

Other than that, nothing really interesting has happened, I love living in Logan but I need to get some pals! It gets a little lonely. Good thing I have the hippeset roommates ever! Love you  Sam and Nichole!

(Nichole Marie)

(Samantha Noel)